Saturday, 1-28-12Bismillah. Today was a strange, interesting, moving day — I didn’t see enough sunlight … that always makes me sad. I sat in front of the sliding glass door trying to soak in every last minute of it … I drank my juice there, ate my eggs, hummed a left over tune from yesterday, talked to my cat, listened to my breath, heard the adhan, “La howla wa la quwatta illa billah …” I repeated, wishing I could pray … I saw things today, felt things, smelled things, remembered things, tried to forget things … making all these connections … warm, milky tea inside my throat and tea plantations in Malaysia … quietly watched a stink bug crawl all over a three-hole punch with Houdini for five minutes -  five minutes is a long time to do anything continuously without interruption … I went out to check the mail and the crescent moon dangled in the sky and I smiled, oh I smiled at my old friend, so lonely and beautiful and a little sad but I always trust the sad, and as I walked back the Eastern sky stopped me in my tracks — the stars …… Houdini turns and looks at me, but his eyes seem to be looking right to my left, almost through me … “I think Houdini can see Angels,” I had said to my mom a few days ago. I stroked his head for a few seconds … and then I heard a stink bug loudly land on the lamp to my left. ”Nope, he just likes watching bugs,” my mom said … (but still, I think he sees Angels too.)… I have been thinking about being on the brink of something, and that moment right before you are not on the brink any more - that’s the truly exciting part - everything afterwards is just hard work … but pre-production? it’s like the sound of the slow, gradual crescendo of rain right before it starts pouring, like children, tip-toeing quietly into your room at 6:30 in the morning, giggling, right before they pounce on your bed and demand you embrace the morning like they have … I love the potential right before, the uncertainty … something I spend so much time exploring, maybe too much …  Well, my very best of the moment today? — the potential for it. (You must’ve seen that coming.)

Saturday, 1-28-12

Bismillah. Today was a strange, interesting, moving day — I didn’t see enough sunlight … that always makes me sad. I sat in front of the sliding glass door trying to soak in every last minute of it … I drank my juice there, ate my eggs, hummed a left over tune from yesterday, talked to my cat, listened to my breath, heard the adhan, “La howla wa la quwatta illa billah …” I repeated, wishing I could pray …

I saw things today, felt things, smelled things, remembered things, tried to forget things … making all these connections … warm, milky tea inside my throat and tea plantations in Malaysia … quietly watched a stink bug crawl all over a three-hole punch with Houdini for five minutes -  five minutes is a long time to do anything continuously without interruption … I went out to check the mail and the crescent moon dangled in the sky and I smiled, oh I smiled at my old friend, so lonely and beautiful and a little sad but I always trust the sad, and as I walked back the Eastern sky stopped me in my tracks — the stars …

… 

Houdini turns and looks at me, but his eyes seem to be looking right to my left, almost through me … “I think Houdini can see Angels,” I had said to my mom a few days ago. I stroked his head for a few seconds … and then I heard a stink bug loudly land on the lamp to my left. ”Nope, he just likes watching bugs,” my mom said … (but still, I think he sees Angels too.)

… 

I have been thinking about being on the brink of something, and that moment right before you are not on the brink any more - that’s the truly exciting part - everything afterwards is just hard work … but pre-production? it’s like the sound of the slow, gradual crescendo of rain right before it starts pouring, like children, tip-toeing quietly into your room at 6:30 in the morning, giggling, right before they pounce on your bed and demand you embrace the morning like they have … I love the potential right before, the uncertainty … something I spend so much time exploring, maybe too much …  

Well, my very best of the moment today? — the potential for it. 

(You must’ve seen that coming.)